Four infamous tweets that should be turned into feature films


PHOTO: Marten Bjork / Unsplash

By: Emma Best, student at SFU

You’ve heard of movies based on books, plays, TV shows, and even other movies, but what about a movie based on a tweet? Well look no further because the future of adaptation is upon us with Zola hit theaters earlier this month. The film is based on the virus thread of 148 tweets by the titular part-time stripper herself. With the positive reception of the film, there is no doubt that there will soon be more films based on the obscure forms of storytelling that we have access to on social media. These are tweets first, but before we know it, there will be an Emmy-winning HBO miniseries based on a TikTok, and Timotheé Chalamet will win an Oscar for his portrayal of David Dobrik in a drama painfully disconnected from his life. But in the meantime, here are four tweet-inspired movies that are sure to hit the big screen soon.

1.) Dinner with papaya: All Dad wanted was to cook a home cooked meal for his six grandchildren. But, when only one grandchild comes to dinner, Papaw feels betrayed. In a mixture of Taken and A Christmas Carol, Papaw and his loyal granddaughter seek out those who betrayed him, hoping for an explanation, reconciliation and, most importantly, revenge. From the director who brought you John wick and starring Christian Bale under 20 pounds of makeup and prosthetics, this geriatric action flick will have you calling your grandparents ASAP and teaching you how to never ignore daddy.

2.) The Brotherhood of Science Pants: On his way to a chemistry lab, student Jake realizes he’s wearing shorts – an act that would get him kicked out of class! So he turns to a stranger on the sidewalk in his tracksuit and says, “I need your pants. Fortunately, the stranger swaps his pants with him, allowing Jake to arrive to class on time. But surprise! This pant swap does more than just save Jake’s chemistry note. This creates a magical pant-based bond between the two boys. Now, whenever Jake puts on pants, he’s immediately swapped with the pants his Pants Stranger wears instead. It is The sorority of travel pants meets the poorly executed bond of force that Rey and Kylo Ren had in the Star wars sequel trilogy, but (unfortunately) without shirtless, high-waisted Adam Driver.

3.) Bean daddy: His daughter wanted beans, but what did he want? Power. Told from the girl’s point of view, ages 9 to nineteen, this bildungsroman (bean-dungsroman) has been filmed year after year in the style of Richard Linklater Childhood (hooded bean). This storytelling gives a truly realistic and beneficial (bean-effective) portrayal of adolescence (ado-lentil-scence) in the age of social media. In order to look at her future, she must look at her past. She needs to look back on her father’s actions and how they impacted her, focusing less on where she’s been (bean) and more on where she’s going (garbanzo-ing. Alright, alright, this one is exaggerated).

4.) Dinner with Papaw 2: The Last Supper: After making amends with his five treacherous grandchildren just over a year ago, Papaw decides to reunite them again for dinner, but his criminal actions of a year ago catch up with him. Now a pawn in New York’s underground mafia, his six grandchildren are kidnapped with a big bounty on their heads. Papaw is then forced to return to his criminal past, trying to save his grandchildren while fighting those who want the bounty. From a completely different screenwriter and director to the first film and starring a TikTok impressionist with a deep falsehood of Christian Bale (Bale had to give up due to a scheduling conflict), this film will certainly be the best follow-up since The Godfather: Part III.

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